Quo Vadis

Testimony of Father Leonid, a Redemptorist priest from the Ukraine province:

My first pilgrimage to Medjugorje was related to my obligations and to my vocation and responsibility as a priest.

Namely, in 2005 local Church entrusted me with huge responsibility and gave me heavy burden to carry and that was service of exorcist.

The first months and the very first year were filled with God’s love and grace, but also with great difficulties and temptations.

One of the major difficulties took place during one session of exorcism over one possessed person.

That person spoke to me in very rough voice, full of horror in these words: “I am horrible, I am powerful, and I will destroy you.

I will destroy your priesthood and all of your life.”

Although that was quite bad, I did not take that seriously at all.

After all, I believed in God completely and I did not have any reasons to doubt that. I also knew that if I had fear in front of the Satan that would be as if I already lost something.

But God allowed this situation to take place, and I am going to share with you how great and how mighty his Mother is, and how Mejuhgoria is sacred ground.

When I was in great pain, when I suffered and when I was tempted daily, I was not able to pray at all.

I would go to confession every single day, but Satan tempted me all the times.

The temptations were so strong that I lost peace in my soul completely.

And not only that, I also felt that I lost my priesthood and my vocation.

I felt that was complete and total destruction of my life.

In that difficult reality, while I was still unable to figure out what was happening to me, somebody offered me to come to Medjugorje.

And I came. I was with a group of priests.

I was just not able to pray, not even when they prayed. During that pilgrimage I met one other priest, Father Ambrosias from Slovakia.

He completely sacrificed his life and his vocation working with people from Ukraine in the region of Carpatho – Ukraine.

He travelled soon after heart attack, and he also had diabetes.

He was a Franciscan priest who came to Medjugorje five times before that.

He absolutely thrilled me with his life and humbleness.

He became my friend, I would help him around, take him by the hand, as he was older man.

It appeared as I was helping to him, but the truth was that it was the other way round.

We were once climbing up the Hill of Apparitions and it was to be the apparition to one of the visionaries.

Everything was packed with people, priests. I sat next to Father Ambrosias and I turned my back to the apparition site.

I felt myself not worthy of being there at all.

But during the time of the Rosary, I felt desire to look towards that direction, to see what was happening there.

At the same time, as I felt that desire, other inner voice was saying to me not to look there.

You are failure and you will end up in hell, I heard. It was horrible.

Those first, positive feelings directed my look towards the apparition site.

I started to look and I was searching for a sign.

Maybe I was to see something at the end.

Hope was being born in me slowly, but also more new arguments about how my humiliation was not to be changed.

But, I believed in crucial moment. Just for a moment.

And in that very moment, as the answer to all of the questions ever rose, I was able to feel how Our Lady was coming down, from Heaven to this world. It was horrible in that moment.

Such a powerful perception, scent of the other world I used to feel up to that point.

And then, I was appeased by certain gentleness, light touch, like a gentle breeze of Our Lady’s presence.

She was coming closer to me. And as She was closer to me, the power of evil was disappearing.

In my heart I experienced new revelation. I was able to experience how powerful Her presence is, how she was humble.

Then I realised that She does not cast away evil spirits, but they ran themselves.

The are not able to bear Her purity and beauty of Her presence.

She does not humiliate them nor She sends them away.

She simply loves them and they can not stand that!

And then, change of spirits within me took place.

Spirit of Satan, spirit that destroys, disappeared with all of his depressions and fears.

Instead of that spirit, Our Lady’s spirit took place. In my heart, I heard the voice: “Do not be afraid, I am your mother! I am your guarantee that you will not be destroyed, that you will not fail.”

Everything was changed. That experience of presence of Our Blessed Mother became miracle of love that saves me, my vocation and my life!

Mirrored from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuBUWCO_b4Y