Scott: Welcome back to the 2024 Nebraska Primary Debates and now another opening statement from an incumbent Imbecile, the old slow mindless windbag, Debbie Downer Fischer.

Debbie Downer:  I’ll never be too old to be a Senator.

Chris:  She talks slow because she doesn’t have anything to say.

Gary:  She talks slow because she can’t remember what to say.

Lucy: She talks slow because she’s too old and her mind is gone.

Rosie: Age is just a number but I can’t count that high.

Emory: She ages like scrap iron left out in the rain.

Ian: I can’t wait to be as old as her because you don’t get in trouble anymore for pooping in your pants.

Chris: She’s so old she watches the History Channel to see if she’s on it.

Gary: She’s so old she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

Emory:  She’s so old her birth certificate is written on a stone tablet

Lucy: She’s so old when she was in high school they didn’t have history class.

Rosie: She’s so old her birthday candles cost more than the birthday cake.

Ian: She’s so old when she was a kid she had a pet dinosaur.

Scott: Well there you have it folks Debbie Downer is really old and out of touch with Nebraskans, and reality.  

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