Fox reporter Jesse Watters: "We spent $20 billion to freak out a bunch of pets. Injecting puppies with cocaine, staging hamster fight clubs, putting dead turtles on treadmills. Cats have marbles shoved up their rectums and are electroshock to make them defecate in constipation experiments. Examine the effects of party drugs on animals ingest injected with testosterone. Who are we buying the cocaine from?"

"I can get a gram from Gutfeld and give it to rookie. Why does that cost so much? I can find a dead turtle in a pond, throw it on a treadmill, hit start, watch it keel over. That's free. A hamster fight club."

"Did they hire Joe Rogan to announce the fight? 20,000,000,000 dollars is what Trump asked congress for to build the border wall. We did this instead."