"Lawyers, Guns and Money" is a song by Warren Zevon, and the closing track on his 1978 album Excitable Boy.

An edited version of the song was released as a single and this edited version is on the A Quiet Normal Life best of compilation on the physical CD and LP, although the lyrics on the rear cover are the full un-edited version. The digital download and streaming version of the compilation use the album version.

The song was first covered by Rick Derringer on the 1978 album If I Weren't So Romantic, I'd Shoot You and was released as a single. Meat Loaf covered the song on his 1999 live album VH1 Storytellers. It was later covered by The Wallflowers on the album Enjoy Every Sandwich: The Songs of Warren Zevon in 2004. It was also a hit for Hank Williams Jr. in 1983 (from his album Five-O, and as a B-side of his single "I'm for Love") and is regularly played live by Widespread Panic.

Lawyers, Guns and Money
Warren Zevon
1978 album Excitable Boy

I went home with the waitress, the way I always do
How was I to know, she was with the Russians, too?

I was gambling in Havana, I took a little risk
Send lawyers, guns and money, dad, get me out of this, ha

I'm the innocent bystander
Somehow I got stuck between the rock and a hard place
And I'm down on my luck, yes I'm down on my luck
Well, I'm down on my luck

And I'm hiding in Honduras
I'm a desperate man
Send lawyers, guns, and money
The shit has hit the fan

Alright, send lawyers, guns, and money
Huh, yeah
Send lawyers, guns, and money
Uh
Send lawyers, guns, and money
Hey
Send lawyers, guns, and money
Oo, yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Written by: Warren William Zevon