2026-1-23 I have given away my body more times than I received flowers

Every woman I have come into contact with have been just like her...and I did not sleep with them either. And, they didn't know what to make of it. Its not like I didn't want to, but there were sometimes where the Lord would tell me, "no, do not sleep with her.", even going into the thing. There were other times when I knew that this woman is beautiful and and and...but, I knew I had to present her to the Father first...so...no. There have been other times when the Father would tell me, "go kiss her.", just to judge her reaction, times when the Father would instigate a situation to see if she would walk in faith or no. Well, after all these past 4 years, I still wonder, will one pass the tests with the Father? is there hope yet for me Father? even in the midst of all that is happening in the world?

I don't know what its like from the woman's perspective. Do they think I am rejecting them because I wouldn't sleep with them? because I don't act like every other man they have ever met? I don't know. Because I'm not a wash over, because I have a standard that I live to everyday, and its not fake at all, and they don't know what to do, how to handle that...   is it like too much faith? they just like to be around you until they realize that you actually mean the things that you say? like testing out the white water only to find out, "nah, I'm not ready for this."; not sure.

But from this girl's perspective, she has never once been treated as a woman, a lady, with respect; never once had a man stare into her eyes, smile, kiss her on her forehead, and give her that quiet reassurance. All the women of the world have ever known...are all the judgments of the place called egypt. I don't dwell in that place anymore, I came out to the Father, and the promised land is a much better place to be! In a relationship, will there still be passion and sex and fun things? sure! But with everything, there is a way about things with the Father; offer up the firstfruits before you partake of them! that the Father may bless you in all that you do. Take for you a wife, not of the people, lest she turn your heart away from ME! but of the daughters of Israel shall you take thine wife. "yes Father.".