[Spoken Word] Hey, HGD from Deathwear's Bunny Slippers A crazy thing has happened since the election My friends on the left are calling me asking what guns to buy They're saying, hey look, I need to use the missile silo because I'm afraid of the right The right has always been afraid of the left So they're still calling me saying, dude, I get space in the missile silo when the left go crazy, right? Eh, no Anyway I thought it would be good for us to do a video to tell you how to prepare for the crazy So this is really out to all of you, no matter what political party you are, to educate you to how we plan on defending and, you know, making myself and the rest of us prepared for what's going to happen or what could happen First off, a lot of people worry about storing food What's the number one way you can store food? On your body That's what I'm doing A lot of you are like, dude, you're fat Hey look, man, I can still move around, I have to go up and down these stairs to get here But I'm carrying enough nutrients to last me probably six months or so So, don't discount this How to equip yourself? First you got to get tactical gear Obviously in black So, that's what I've done So we're going to kind of work our way from close, you know, tools in combat all the way up to what you need to deal with for long range First, you need a good tactical vest You can find these most anywhere, I bought this 50 pounds ago But it still does its job Luckily these are all adjustable Crank it down real tight Okay? Sam, does that look good? Awesome So, the reason you need these is because you have a whole bunch of really cool stuff to hold So it's mandatory, just get yourself one of them For bonus points, get one that actually, you know, like a flak vest or is bulletproof That's super cool I don't need bulletproof stuff, I have like, you know, extra layer of ballistic material That's not actually true Next, all right Now you need to move to what you need for short term tools, close combat My two favorite tools for that are number one, this What is this, a bracelet? To look pretty in combat? No This is a Leatherman Tread, this is man jewelry But it's actually super useful It has tools on it Okay, we're going to do a close-up of that So it actually has screwdrivers and wrenches, glass breaking, SIM card popper in case you needed to change your SIM card in the middle of combat or a bad situation This has it all Plus, it looks awesome Next, Leatherman Charge By far the best Leatherman you can buy, this one's in titanium because remember, we're always trying to save weight on your person So we're going to find a pocket for that, down here is probably good enough Now we need to move into knives Two of the knives that I tend to always carry with me in this situation are right here Great tactical knife Very pretty Very sharp Plus, you always want stuff that comes with little tiny things to hang so you can have it on you at all times Remember, it's all about keeping your hands free but equipping you for all the coolness Next, this is a bayonet knife from an AK-47 Why do we need that? Because it's cool and it also doubles as a wrench Oh We'll put that back here For short range, you want