"Tone policing" is claimed to be an illegitimate conversation tactic to shut down conversation by shifting focus from the arguments being made to the manner in which a person is delivering those arguments. While it is true that the way in which a statement is made doesn't change the truth or falsehood of the statement, accusations of "tone policing" are almost always an abuse tactic by the person making that accusation rather than a valid complaint. The typical context where a "tone policing" accusation arises is when a social justice warriors (SJWs), feminists, and other politically activist types are engaging in verbally and psychologically abusive behavior and are called out for it. It is also often paired with implicit or explicit accusations of racism, sexism, or some other assignment of identity-based hate, along with downplaying their own aggressive behaviors as mere anger and frustration rather than bullying and abuse.

In essence, the accusation of "tone policing" is a tactic to reverse victim and offender, enabling a verbally abusive person to continue abusing, bullying, and threatening others under the false notion of being oppressed if forced to adhere to notions of respectful, professional, or polite conduct.

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